Apology Accepted
In my newsletter this week, I would like to ask – when you get into a disagreement, and need to apologize for your words or actions, are you a person who admits their mistakes? Do you take responsibility for your faults or follow up with an excuse by starting out the conversation with- I’m sorry, but…then try to defend yourself? When I am in and out of companies during the week, I meet all kinds of people who are struggling with relational issues. These issues typically include: friendship problems, work relationships that are struggling, broken family relationships and finally marriage issues. For this reason, I am asked to assist the employee with conflict resolution ideas. While I am helping set up a restoration plan, I often hear things like: Yes, I said that but… or Yes, I did that but… instead of saying things like “I should have refrained from saying that, I should have seen your point, or come to you and talked about how I hurt you. These words are the quickest way to stop an argument. They are what the injured person is longing to hear, because this speaks volumes and says: you matter to me. USA Today states: “A sincere apology can go a long way. It doesn’t matter if we hurt someone intentionally or accidently – we have to take responsibility. By owning our mistakes, we have the chance to rebuild trust, validate experiences and heal wounds. But when we refuse to take ownership, we ignore the consequences of our actions and lessen the safety of the relationship, and ultimately, deepen the hurt. A true apology is more than a statement. It has to be sincere, vulnerable and intentional.” In addition, I would like to add that a true apology includes putting away pride and letting go of the offense. By accepting the offender’s apology, the sails are typically taken out of the wind and healing can begin. By hanging on to hurt and not extending grace, the offense generally escalates and reconciliation is not achieved. So, how is the problem fixed? By apologizing! With this said, the next time you get into an argument, will you stew over it for weeks, or will you put away your pride and say the 3 easiest words “I’m so sorry” the choice is yours.
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 5:23-24
Chaplain Tracey Burns
Reflection Questions:
Are you one who accepts another person’s apology or do you still harbor ill feelings?
Do you hold on to pride or extend grace when you’ve hurt someone?
How can you avoid making excuses for an offense that you committed towards a loved one?
Bonus: Great song (if you are interested) - do you need to show- “Forgiveness”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Lu5udXEZI&ab_channel=MattStone712